what writing means to me | into my mind

most people want to be heard. i prefer to be read. | blogmas day 1

I have a lot on my mind almost all of the time. More often than not, it makes no sense. If you’ve ever listened to me tell a story in person, you know that I will go off on a tangent about 50 different times. What was a two-minute story becomes a ten-minute story. The inside of my brain probably looks like one of those detective boards with the words and pictures and newspaper clippings all connected some way or another by string. Sometimes, my mind gets the best of me and all I want to do is turn it off. There will be so much going on at once, too many ideas and memories coming to the forefront of my brain in rapid fire succession with barely any time in between for me to process what was just there. It took me a long time to figure out what in the world to do about that: write.

When I was in high school, I used to journal all the time. Random letters to myself, to God, to my friends (even though they certainly never read them), to “journal”, all with the sole purpose of me writing down my thoughts at the time, my prayers. I once read through a journal I kept in the 9th grade and I couldn’t tell you how many entries made sense to me five years later. Not even realizing it, I was already writing to organize the literal trains of thought running in my head. After Theo was born, it got worse. In the beginning, I spent most of my day sitting in one place mindlessly scrolling through my phone, random thoughts coming to me all the time, until I finally got the intense urge to just write. So I took out my laptop and did just that. Anything and everything that popped into my head, I typed in bullets on OneNote. Eventually, my random thoughts turned into longer stories, and thus began my desire to continue the blog I started two years ago.

According to 16personalities.com, I am your resident ISFP personality type–emphasis on the “I”. Labelling myself as an introvert was actually kind of weird at first because when I took the same quiz my senior year of high school, my result was ENTJ (the COMPLETE opposite). I’m not sure if I faked it my whole life or just inherently changed due to the circumstances, but while I searched for the center of attention years ago, I certainly do not anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I do love to socialize, but only when the time is right, and only when I feel like it. I prefer a chill night in to a crazy party, I prefer to listen rather than stand at center stage.

But even the quietest of us all have things they want to say.

I once wanted to start my own YouTube channel, I still think that would be pretty cool. For the longest time, I wanted to be just like KathleenLights. The thing is, put me in front of a camera and I don’t know what to say. I stumble over my words and end up looking like a fool. I’ve learned that I express myself better in writing than I do verbally, so here I am. I want to translate all of the ideas I had for my YouTube channel to my blog, and then some. My mom (joyousserendipity.com) told me she will be doing Blogmas this year which is essentially uploading a blog post every day from December 1st to Christmas Day. I thought that would be a great way to not only practice getting content out there on a regular basis but also organize the ball of yarn that is my brain while I stay at home with the kiddos.

I will probably say this every time, but thanks for making it this far! Keep a look out for tomorrow’s post 🙂

Blogmas content sneak peek:

  • Zeke is two!
  • my everyday make up products
  • perhaps some blasts from the past

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