the second month | two at twenty-two

theo’s second month favorites: still mom’s boob, screaming bloody murder, and tracking daddy. | blogmas day 19

I can’t believe the littlest nugget is two months old already. I don’t think I need to tell you that time flies so quickly. Personally, I feel great physically. I’m just very tired all of the time. We’ve gotten a better hang of this whole parents-of-two thing which mainly came with remembering how to handle an infant.

Donald finished his semester on December 6th, and the next day is when our mini vacay (read all about it here) took off. Traveling with him actually was not so bad. It helped that we stayed at Ate Mawi’s house instead of a hotel because it felt like home rather a vacation spot. He’s gotten better with his car seat, so we only had to stop a few times on the way to feed him. Other than that he was sleeping. I have also gotten better at breastfeeding in public. It’s still hard, though. Definitely hard.

On the Zeke-is-jealous front, we’re still working on it. He’s doing better. He at least acknowledges that there is a baby in his presence. Sometimes he’ll kiss Theo if we ask him, but his jealousy is still evident. He tries to pull me away when I’m in the middle of feeding or holding Theo. I have more strength now to get up and walk around while holding Theo, which makes things a little easier, but I can tell when Zeke gets sad around Theo.

He is still a little needy sometimes, but that’s getting better, too. There are days when all he wants to do is be carried. Those days are the hardest because I’m not able to get anything done. Although it’s necessary to just relax for a day, it makes me feel bad when there are lots of days like that.

Developmentally, Theo is doing great. As of his doctor’s appointment earlier today, he now weighs 11 pounds 3 ounces. Honestly, I think a majority of that is in his head because it feels so dense. He is 22 inches tall with a head circumference of 29 centimeters. He can officially fly on a plane because he got his first round of vaccines.

He still only sleeps 2-3 hours, sometimes four, at a time. He is beginning to coo and track movements. He has discovered that his hands are a thing and still loves to be tapped on the butt. He rolled over once, and that was cool. He is so, so loud. I mean he sounds like he’s being stabbed, loud. He spits up almost all the food he eats but still poops up a storm.

Here’s to a fun month three!

 

the first month | two at twenty-two

theo’s first month favorites include: mom’s boob, waking up every two hours, and farting on kuya zeke.

“It’s easier the second time around.”

This is both a fat lie and the honest truth. While, yes, I have experience from raising Zeke, caring for a newborn and also figuring out what to do with a toddler is a whole different ball game. To say that this first month has been one of the most difficult things in my life is a massive understatement. Just now, I had to take a break from writing this because my newborn seems to be cluster-feeding and almost refuses to let me put him down, and my toddler tripped and hit his face on a plastic chair. I would be lying if I said that I don’t want to pull my hair out at the sound of them screaming at the same time. It has definitely been a learning and growing experience for myself and Donald, who is also currently enrolled in Florida Southern’s Doctor of Physical Therapy program.

Elijah Theodore–aka Theo–decided he didn’t want to come out the normal way. The first two weeks were definitely a struggle as I recovered from a caesarean section–a whole separate post will be coming about that because wow, just wow. My mobility from the surgery was at an all time low. Everything from sitting up in bed to standing up straight was just hard. I’m fully breast feeding, so I had to get up and feed Theo almost every two hours, give or take half an hour or so. This left me with almost no energy to do anything with Zeke. After I got my dressing removed and my staples out, I was able to start getting up a little easier and walking around more. Although my incision was completely healed, I couldn’t fool myself because my muscles still had a long way to go.

It wasn’t all bad, though. We were blessed enough to have some combination of family with us for a majority of this first month. In the first week, Donald’s older brother, Paolo, and his husband, Spencer, stayed with us. My sister, Erin, spent Theo’s third week here, and Donald’s other siblings, Mawi and Mickey, came for a weekend somewhere in there. Since my mom works from home, she was able to help us out during the breaks between visitors. On top of all that, we only live 15 minutes away from Donald’s parents, so they are always there to lend a hand in a pinch. I want to give a huge shout out and thank you to everyone for lifting a massive weight off my shoulders by helping me with Zeke during my initial recovery period.

We all know Zeke. He will be two in December. We thought he’d beat the odds against the terrible two’s but boy were we wrong. It doesn’t help that the poor thing seems to be jealous of his new baby brother. It gets tricky sometimes because when he sees one of us with Theo, he will begin to whine to get our attention. Now that I’m on my own with the two of them during the day while Donald is at school, I’ve been trying to teach him how to take turns by telling him that it’s Theo’s turn when he’s hungry or needs a diaper change. On the flip side, I try to make a show of telling Theo that it’s Zeke’s turn. I’m not very consistent with this yet, but hopefully it will start to work over time. Despite his initial apprehensiveness and jealousy, we’ve begun to see Zeke’s growing affection towards Theo.

The number one person at my side in all this is obviously Donald. He is a true rockstar figuring out how to balance grad school and being a father of two. It hasn’t been easy for him at all, but that’s his story to tell. I can say that even though we see each other every day, I honestly miss him. I love spending time with him and the kiddos, but we hardly get time for one another. That being said, the few times we’ve been able to go out just the two of us have been awesome. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be sane. My mental health has not been the best these past few weeks, but knowing that we have the other to lean on and to share this journey with has made all the difference.

Now that I’m almost healed and this first month is over, I have come to the following conclusions/opinions:

  1. C-section recovery is actually so much better than from a normal delivery.
  2. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard.
  3. Self-care is VERY important when you now have two children vying for your attention.
  4. I married a super hero.
  5. Writing is a great outlet that makes your brain work when a majority of your day is spent listening to Baby Shark.

 

Here’s to hoping month two will get a little easier.

P.S. Shout out to you for making it this far in my first blog in a long time. I know it was rough, it’ll get better I promise.

 

 

The Moment I Chose Life

Hello, my dear friends and family!

To be completely honest, I don’t know how to blog. I’ve tried, and it just doesn’t work out; I fail to keep up with it, I never know what to write about. But I have some things I would like to share with everyone, and it’s become too difficult to sit everyone down individually and give them my life update. I figured this way, everyone will still hear my side of the story, even if not personally from my voice.

To begin, those of you who know me might not even know me that well. I find it difficult to open up to people, and it has nothing to do with the people I talk to. It’s always been a personal attribute I’ve tried a long time to combat. I’ve put on a strong front for a very long time and rarely allowed anyone to see my emotional instability and vulnerability. For these reasons, no one ever saw me struggle, and, in turn, I never asked anyone for help. It’s something that led to my academic failure my first semester at the University of Florida in 2015. I never admitted to anyone that I was having difficulties. I never even admitted it to myself.

Fast forward to the beginning of Summer 2017. I stayed in Gainesville for work, so I spent a lot of my time alone since a lot of my friends went home for the summer. I had a lot of time to reflect on myself and the life I had led up to that point. What stuck out to me the most was how selfishly I was living. Through everything I did I only had my best interests in mind. I grew up knowing that I must live my life according to God’s plan, but I had made it my own instead.

Alright. This is where things reveal themselves. Despite straying from His plan so often, our God is so great he continued to shower me with blessings. I was made aware of an amazing blessing mid-May on the day Donald left for Israel: I’m going to be a mother. Initially, I had no idea how to react. I was alone in Gainesville, Donald was on a plane to Israel, and this was a new situation that no one close to me (other than my mom of course lol.) had ever gone through.

When Donald came home from Israel, it didn’t get any easier. We were both lost individually and it led to even more confusion when we came together. It got to a point where we were having discussions about whether or not to keep the baby, what would we do if we did, what would happen if we didn’t. It was hard and there were a lot of tears. We didn’t even know if we were going to stay together. But there was something I knew for certain before I saw Donald in person for the first time: keeping the baby is the right thing to do. We spent a lot of time discerning on our own and openly discussing everything, and I’d like to say that now our relationship is getting stronger and stronger every day.

It was a long time coming, but I have finally been able to accept the blessing God gave me for what it is and I am very excited!! My main reason for writing/starting this blog is to share my excitement with all of you. Our little peanut is due January 1, 2018 (#NewYearsBaby lol), and it’s a boy!  I can’t tell you how hard it is for me NOT to talk about this 24/7. Also, baby fever is very, very real.

With the shock of it all, at first it seemed like this was the end of the world. However, my life is going to continue. I have a lot to live for now. I have a full time job that I love as a medical lab assistant at Shands Hospital in Gainesville. I’m pursuing a degree in Business Administration with a focus in Healthcare Management online at the Florida Institute of Technology. I’m learning to budget my time and money a lot better. And most of all, I’m continuing to nourish my relationship with God. I know now more than ever that I need to follow His will, His plan for me and this baby.

I understand that our situation may spark some controversial reactions, and I don’t expect any specific reaction from anyone. This is an extremely life-changing situation for Donald and I, and even for our families, so we just want to share it with everyone. We humbly ask for your prayers as we continue this journey towards parenthood. We thank you in advanced for any support you lend us, and we will be praying for all of you as well. We will keep you updated along the way!

I have much love for you all,

Meg (:

 

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