Hello, my dear friends and family!
To be completely honest, I don’t know how to blog. I’ve tried, and it just doesn’t work out; I fail to keep up with it, I never know what to write about. But I have some things I would like to share with everyone, and it’s become too difficult to sit everyone down individually and give them my life update. I figured this way, everyone will still hear my side of the story, even if not personally from my voice.
To begin, those of you who know me might not even know me that well. I find it difficult to open up to people, and it has nothing to do with the people I talk to. It’s always been a personal attribute I’ve tried a long time to combat. I’ve put on a strong front for a very long time and rarely allowed anyone to see my emotional instability and vulnerability. For these reasons, no one ever saw me struggle, and, in turn, I never asked anyone for help. It’s something that led to my academic failure my first semester at the University of Florida in 2015. I never admitted to anyone that I was having difficulties. I never even admitted it to myself.
Fast forward to the beginning of Summer 2017. I stayed in Gainesville for work, so I spent a lot of my time alone since a lot of my friends went home for the summer. I had a lot of time to reflect on myself and the life I had led up to that point. What stuck out to me the most was how selfishly I was living. Through everything I did I only had my best interests in mind. I grew up knowing that I must live my life according to God’s plan, but I had made it my own instead.
Alright. This is where things reveal themselves. Despite straying from His plan so often, our God is so great he continued to shower me with blessings. I was made aware of an amazing blessing mid-May on the day Donald left for Israel: I’m going to be a mother. Initially, I had no idea how to react. I was alone in Gainesville, Donald was on a plane to Israel, and this was a new situation that no one close to me (other than my mom of course lol.) had ever gone through.
When Donald came home from Israel, it didn’t get any easier. We were both lost individually and it led to even more confusion when we came together. It got to a point where we were having discussions about whether or not to keep the baby, what would we do if we did, what would happen if we didn’t. It was hard and there were a lot of tears. We didn’t even know if we were going to stay together. But there was something I knew for certain before I saw Donald in person for the first time: keeping the baby is the right thing to do. We spent a lot of time discerning on our own and openly discussing everything, and I’d like to say that now our relationship is getting stronger and stronger every day.
It was a long time coming, but I have finally been able to accept the blessing God gave me for what it is and I am very excited!! My main reason for writing/starting this blog is to share my excitement with all of you. Our little peanut is due January 1, 2018 (#NewYearsBaby lol), and it’s a boy! I can’t tell you how hard it is for me NOT to talk about this 24/7. Also, baby fever is very, very real.
With the shock of it all, at first it seemed like this was the end of the world. However, my life is going to continue. I have a lot to live for now. I have a full time job that I love as a medical lab assistant at Shands Hospital in Gainesville. I’m pursuing a degree in Business Administration with a focus in Healthcare Management online at the Florida Institute of Technology. I’m learning to budget my time and money a lot better. And most of all, I’m continuing to nourish my relationship with God. I know now more than ever that I need to follow His will, His plan for me and this baby.
I understand that our situation may spark some controversial reactions, and I don’t expect any specific reaction from anyone. This is an extremely life-changing situation for Donald and I, and even for our families, so we just want to share it with everyone. We humbly ask for your prayers as we continue this journey towards parenthood. We thank you in advanced for any support you lend us, and we will be praying for all of you as well. We will keep you updated along the way!
I have much love for you all,